Tag Archives: Parenting

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Remote Learning: Rethinking Academic Pods and Helping Those Most in Need

When many schools across the U.S. announced that they would continue to rely on distance learning, at least partially, until schools are able to reopen safely, some parents, especially those with means, went into overdrive to organize small-group “pods” for learning and socialization. It’s hard to cast aspersions on any parent, most of whom are already profoundly stretched by juggling the demands of work, household, children and school during this extraordinary time. Yet, a sad consequence of the pods, some of which are able to hire tutors, is that they will further exacerbate the yawning equity gap that already exists in schools and in virtually all our systems, even during “normal” times.

Here are just a few things that happen to lower-income children* during the pandemic, and those whose parents lack the time and means to create and manage a pod:

  • Food insecurity when school meals end
  • Lack of internet access to do classwork
  • Lack of supervision when parents are working
  • Lack of proper work space
  • Little or no socialization with peers
  • Scarce outdoor or physical activity
  • Academic and social progress falls further behind

*also rural children, children with special needs, those whose parents don’t speak fluent English or understand the lessons, and more

Educational and other forms of inequity is a huge issue and one I’m passionate about. In that spirit, I’d like to offer a few alternatives to the way the 2020-2021 academic year seems to be shaping up.

Acknowledge the hard work of teachers and parents

All teachers and parents have been heroes. They’ve devoted countless hours and done the best possible work to keep kids educated, occupied and safe, in an exceedingly frightening, ever-changing and uncertain time–often without fanfare or thanks. Teachers have, as usual, had to put in not only extra time but additional personal expense, many while their own kids are at home. Hats off to all.

Rethink the concept of “left behind”

I’ve long thought that the metrics of school academics are skewed to the very top achievers, causing stress and burnout for the rest. Because the entire U.S. is affected by this public health crisis, this would be a great time to pause and reconsider the important aspects of education and when it would be important to learn them. 4th grade isn’t going to look the same this year as it did last year, so why should we use outdated benchmarks as to what a 4th grader should achieve?

Randi Weingarten, President of the American Federation of Teachers (and the closest we have to a national leader on this issue) proposes that we think of the next school year as a bridge year, and begin by addressing the social-emotional needs of children, even before the academic ones.

To that point, parents might wish to form social pods with a few families, to meet (perhaps outdoors) with a rotating parent from the group. This solution provides kids with important interaction with peers, for socialization and learning. (Yes, learning.) Children, especially preschoolers, learn through play, so perhaps this anomalous year will allow us to retire the outdated idea of kindergarten readiness, while allowing older kids to interact for their mental and physical health and stimulation.

Learn outside the box

Schools will still likely provide curriculum, in the form of lectures, assignments and worksheets, but what about the kinds of things that can be taught at home? This could be a great time for kids to explore independent projects and interests. Some ideas:

  • Join a citizen science project at home. Or keep a journal for a month to record the phases of the moon or observations in the neighborhood or out the window.
  • Prepare food with a parent to learn some planning and math skills by considering steps and measuring ingredients.
  • Watch a movie about a different period in history and talk about it afterward.
  • Interview family members and write/ draw their stories or make a family tree
  • Teach your kids about financial literacy, something they will need in life that they won’t likely get in school.
  • As 2020 is an election year, take the time to learn about government and voting and perhaps be a more engaged citizen.
  • Read, draw, take walks, play games, cuddle. Do some of the things you think you don’t have time for normally.

Support organizations that are closing the education equity gap

Thankfully, through public and private support, some organizations are rising to the meet the tremendous gap in education opportunities during Covid-19. For instance, the city of San Francisco is refitting libraries, community centers and other public buildings into staffed learning hubs, where young students most in need can access digital classwork and receive help.

Here are some individual organizations that you can help:

Oakland Reach City Wide Virtual Hub is a wonderful model that provides online learning, enrichment and community for the most in need and at risk and pays families to participate. Classes are taught be skilled teachers, and families learn, too, in an effort to close learning gaps at a time when they would only widen otherwise. Read more about Oakland Reach.

Adopt a Classroom’s Disaster Relief Fund helps those across the U.S. who are most immediately in need of technology, supplies, PPE and more, due to Covid-19.

Communities in Schools helps those most in need of food, medical, financial and technological assistance in 25 states and D.C.

First Book delivers books to children around the U.S. who don’t have books or internet access.

The Intercultural Development Research Association is a long-time San Antonio organization that offers assistance to those most in need, in English and Spanish.

National Digital Computer Alliance redistributes donated computers to those in need.

If you wish to help in a specific geographic region try Googling covid relief fund or community foundation and the name of the region.

Support groups that are helping in other ways

This is an excellent and thorough resource from CNN for helping and getting many different kinds of help during the coronovirus crisis–including food, medical supplies, international aid, and support for small businesses, restaurant workers, homeless people, arts organizations and more.

The JFCS Community Emergency Fund helps seniors, families and those most in need, with food, visits, therapy and more, in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Share information and resources

The Center for Children and Youth offers virtual therapy for children, remote parent consultations, online parenting workshops, and professional support for clinicians.

Read 6 Tips for Homeschooling During Coronavirus from NPR.

Read about Creating a Home Classroom for kids with sensory processing or other challenges, from the Center for Children and Youth.

Read 11 Tips to Help your Teen Succeed at Online Learning, from a college senior.

This is an excellent piece from Turn it In that offers with many ideas about adjusting distance learning to make it more inclusive and successful for more students.

This Chalkbeat piece shares national data and takeaways about distance learning in spring, 2020.

NPR outlines some of the gaps that occurred during remote learning.

This crisis has made it abundantly clear that we are all interconnected and need to work together toward solutions. It also provides an opportunity to rethink outdated norms and create greater equity, in education and elsewhere.

 

Special note to incoming college students: I’m so sorry your high school senior year and entrance to college have been so disappointing. There’s no way to sugar-coat this situation. While some are choosing to take a gap year, many counselors are advising to power through your least desirable required courses online to get them over with, especially if your gap year doesn’t have a strong, particular purpose. You will return to normal on-campus life at some point and have college experiences with your peers.

Here are some tips for Self-care and Wellness for Students during Covid-19, from the Foundation for CA Community Colleges.

Wishing educational success for all, and peace to parents and students, in whatever personal choices they make.

Photos: Pexels Public Domain

 

Tips for Families During the Coronavirus Outbreak

Coronavirus is changing the lives of everyone on the planet. In addition to impacting day-to-day lifestyles and habits, cancelling large events and closing schools, the health crises is making many aware or newly aware of our interconnectedness and dependency on one another for health and safety.

This time may be particularly challenging for parents: School, job and other routines are disrupted, and it can be difficult to strike a balance between managing our own needs and anxieties with those of our kids. We’re also, by necessity, having to slow down and get creative with the way we’re spending our time.

Try these tips to help you get through.

How to talk to kids about Coronavirus

How to Talk to Kids and Teens about the Coronavirus

Tips on How to Help Kids Feel Safe and Manage Stress

Tips for Teaching Kids Media Smarts during Breaking News

Explaining the News to Our Kids

Tips for staying healthy

How to Protect your Family From Coronavirus

Hand Washing: A Powerful Antidote to Illness

How to Make your own Hand Sanitizer

8 Best Ways to Keep Your Family Healthy (anytime)

Fun stuff to do at home 

12 Ways to Celebrate Screen-Free Week

10 Ways to Learn in Your own Backyard

18 Ways to Unplug as a Family

8 St. Patrick’s Day (or anytime) Science Experiments for Kids

9 Ways to Enjoy Nature in Winter

Take Part in Citizen Science

Slow Nature: Have a Cloud Race

It’s in the Cards: Card Games and Card Reading

12 Famous Museums that Offer Virtual Tours

Extensive List of Online Resources for Anyone who is Bored at Home

At-home Learning

Covid-19 and At-Home Learning

Schools are Closing for Coronavirus. Now What?

How to Get More Talking, Reading and Singing into your Child’s Life

Free Educational Apps, Games and Web Sites  from Common Sense Media

PBS Fun and Educational Family Activities  (games, apps, crafts)

Dealing with stress in general

CDC: Managing Anxiety and Stress (for self and parents)

5 Ways to Overcome the Stress of Coronavirus

How School Closures can Strengthen Your Family

We Will Emerge from these Times as Heroes (and the importance of letting kids play)

Meditation for Beginners

Meditation Apps for Kids from Common Sense Media

I wish you good health, stamina and calm.

Photos: Public Domain, Susan Sachs Lipman (last photo)

May is the New December: How to Get to Summer with your Sanity Intact

Does your family have spring fever? You know the symptoms–lax lunches, half-hearted homework checks, award-ceremony overdose and field-trip fatigue.

Fear not: Summer is on its way.

Here are 6 tips to help your family reach the end of the school year with greater ease.

Cut yourself some slack

The end of the school year can feel like both a marathon and a sprint. This is exhausting to even the most superhuman among us. The world won’t end if the softball uniform isn’t squeaky clean or pizza seems to be the main attraction at more dinners than usual.

Give yourself permission to skip some events

Try to honor everyone’s limits, including your own. Check in with your family to see if they might prefer some downtime to one more event on the calendar. There will be more end-of-the-year ice cream socials in other years. Try these tips for recharging in any season.

Discuss your child’s feelings

Despite the celebratory nature of many of the events, some children may feel confusion or sadness about the end of the school year and the passage of time. Others may be overwhelmed by any celebration or attention. Check in with your child about their feelings and needs at this transitional time.

Spend some unstructured time outdoors

Nature is a great antidote to a hectic schedule. The outdoors helps us get some perspective and experience awe. It can also provide some space in which to run around and let off steam or, conversely, to calm ourselves and recharge. Try these tips for enjoying nature as a family.

Leave some volunteer tasks for others

It’s nice to do your part, and volunteering can be very rewarding. It can also allow you to make the most of each activity and not feel as if the events are flying by. However, do listen to your gut if it tells you you’re taking on too much, and scale back accordingly.

Try to get enough sleep

Busy schedules, excess homework and long, sunny days make it even harder than usual for everyone to get the sleep they need. Try to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Try these tips to help your kids get a good night’s sleep.

 

 

 

 

Read more about how to help your family transition to summer.

 

 

This post originally appeared on Parents Place.

Photos: Susan Sachs Lipman

 

12 Ways to Celebrate Screen Free Week

Screens! They dominate many of our lives, often to a greater degree than we wish. While many of us parents can attest to the addictive nature of technology, we struggle with ways to reduce it in our children’s lives.

 

It is perhaps a bonus, then, that the wonderful Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has proclaimed May 1-7 to be Screen-Free Week. Sometimes this kind of added incentive is all we need to inspire us to action. More than once, parents have told me that their children’s favorite memories include episodes of family game nights by fire- or candlelight during power outages. You can create your own “power outage” by participating in Screen-Free Week. And, even if you don’t go completely screen-free, you might want to pledge an hour or so a day or night to have some good screen-free fun. Who knows? That fun might just become a habit or your own favorite family memory.

Here are 12 ways to celebrate Screen Free Week:

Make a Paper Boat and sail it in a creek, pond or bathtub.

Make a Bird Feeder. Our local birds have gone nuts for ours and we plan to make more.

Make easy Wreaths, Crowns and Baskets to celebrate May Day and spring.

Enjoy Loom and Finger Weaving. You can do this anywhere!

Keep a Moon Diary as a way of observing the night sky.

Slow your pace and have a Cloud Race.

Get a jump on summer by making S’Mores. Camp under the stars if it’s warm enough.

Start a Backyard Garden.

Bake your own Soft Pretzels. These are really easy and fun.

Play a different fun board game every night. We like Boggle, Sorry, Taboo, Pictionary, Scrabble, Mancala, Masterpiece, Monopoly and Hi-Ho Cherry O.

Discover The Joy of Quiet.

And, if you’re really missing your screen? Make your own Shoebox TV!

You’ll need:

Shoebox or a square-shaped box and lid
Cardboard tubes, from paper towels, foil or plastic wrap, or wooden dowels
4-10 pieces of printer paper (8 ½ x 11”)
Drawing materials
Scissors, craft knife and tape

Cut a large opening for the TV screen into the bottom of the box, leaving an even border of 1” or more all around.

Holding the box horizontally, cut two holes on the top, each about 2” the side and 2” back from the cut-out section. Your dowels or cardboard tubes should fit into the holes.

Cut two bottom holes that line up with the top ones.

Cut the cardboard tubes, if necessary, so that about ½ “ sticks out on the bottom and 1-2” on top.

Decide on a story you want to tell that primarily uses pictures.

Place the paper horizontally (cutting, if necessary, to fit the tube length) and draw one picture on each page, adding words, if desired. Leave at least 1” on each paper edge and at least 2” on the left edge of the first picture and the right edge of the last picture.

Lay the pictures out, left to right, in the order they will appear. Turn them over and, keeping the order, run a piece of tape down each back seam where two pictures come together.

Tape each end of the paper story scroll around a tube or dowel and roll on the back sides of the scroll, so that the paper image is at the front of the tubes and the paper is tight and sized to the box.

Place the tubes into the holes and place the lid on the back. Decorate the front of the TV, if desired.

Gently turn the tubes to make the pictures move.

Slow Tip: You can also use images from magazines or comic-books to create your story.

You can make multiple story scrolls and change them through the back of the box. In doing so, you’ll join nearly every ancient civilization in telling stories using scrolls, starting with the Egyptians, who created them on papyrus.

The Shoebox TV craft is adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, which contains 300+ more ways to enjoy screen-free family fun.

You might enjoy these related posts from Slow Family Online:

Eight Fun Things to Do While It’s Still Summer

Six Fun Family Activities to Enjoy This Weekend

Hooray for Low-Tech Toys

Here are some more ideas for screen-free from Parents Place:

18 Ways to Unplug as a Family

Graphic: Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood, Photos: Susan Sachs Lipman

Give Tech a Rest: It’s National Day of Unplugging

When I speak to families about slowing down and enjoying family time, one of the things that comes up over and over is screen time. Those shiny screens dominate many of our lives, often to a greater degree than we wish. While many of us parents can attest to the addictive nature of technology, we struggle with ways to reduce it in our and our kids’ lives.

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Cell phone resting in its sleeping bag

It is perhaps a bonus, then, that Mar 3-4 (sundown-sundown) is  National Day of Unplugging. Sometimes this kind of added incentive is all we need to inspire us to action. More than once, parents have told me that their children’s favorite memories include episodes of family game nights by fire- or candlelight during power outages. You can create your own “power outage” by participating in National Day of Unplugging. Who knows? This might just become a habit or your own favorite family memory.

Here are 12 things to do while the power is out:

Make a Paper Boat and sail it in a creek, pond or bathtub.

Make a Bird Feeder. Our local birds have gone nuts for ours and we plan to make more.

Make easy Wreaths, Crowns and Baskets to celebrate May Day and spring.

Enjoy Loom and Finger Weaving. You can do this anywhere!

Keep a Moon Diary as a way of observing the night sky.

Slow your pace and have a Cloud Race.

Get a jump on summer by making S’Mores. Camp under the stars if it’s warm enough.

Start a Backyard Garden.

Bake your own Soft Pretzels. These are really easy and fun.

Play a different fun board game every night. We like Boggle, Sorry, Taboo, Pictionary, Scrabble, Mancala, Masterpiece, Monopoly and Hi-Ho Cherry O.

Discover The Joy of Quiet.

And, if you’re really missing your screen? Make your own Shoebox TV!

You’ll need:

Shoebox or a square-shaped box and lid
Cardboard tubes, from paper towels, foil or plastic wrap, or wooden dowels
4-10 pieces of printer paper (8 ½ x 11”)
Drawing materials
Scissors, craft knife and tape

Cut a large opening for the TV screen into the bottom of the box, leaving an even border of 1” or more all around.

Holding the box horizontally, cut two holes on the top, each about 2” the side and 2” back from the cut-out section. Your dowels or cardboard tubes should fit into the holes.

Cut two bottom holes that line up with the top ones.

Cut the cardboard tubes, if necessary, so that about ½ “ sticks out on the bottom and 1-2” on top.

Decide on a story you want to tell that primarily uses pictures.

Place the paper horizontally (cutting, if necessary, to fit the tube length) and draw one picture on each page, adding words, if desired. Leave at least 1” on each paper edge and at least 2” on the left edge of the first picture and the right edge of the last picture.

Lay the pictures out, left to right, in the order they will appear. Turn them over and, keeping the order, run a piece of tape down each back seam where two pictures come together.

Tape each end of the paper story scroll around a tube or dowel and roll on the back sides of the scroll, so that the paper image is at the front of the tubes and the paper is tight and sized to the box.

Place the tubes into the holes and place the lid on the back. Decorate the front of the TV, if desired.

Gently turn the tubes to make the pictures move.

Slow Tip: You can also use images from magazines or comic-books to create your story.

You can make multiple story scrolls and change them through the back of the box. In doing so, you’ll join nearly every ancient civilization in telling stories using scrolls, starting with the Egyptians, who created them on papyrus.

The Shoebox TV craft is adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, which contains 300+ more ways to enjoy screen-free family fun.

Here are some more ways to unplug as a family from Parents Place:

18 Ways to Unplug as a Family

You might enjoy these related posts from Slow Family Online:

Eight Fun Things to Do While It’s Still Summer

Six Fun Family Activities to Enjoy This Weekend

Hooray for Low-Tech Toys

Graphic: Parents Place, Photos: Susan Sachs Lipman

12 Fun Family Activities for Screen-Free Week

When I speak to families about slowing down and enjoying family time, one of the things that comes up over and over is screen time. Screens dominate many of our lives, often to a greater degree than we wish. While many of us parents can attest to the addictive nature of technology, we struggle with ways to reduce it in our children’s lives.

2014poster

It is perhaps a bonus, then, that the wonderful Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has proclaimed May 5-11 to be Screen-Free Week. Sometimes this kind of added incentive is all we need to inspire us to action. More than once, parents have told me that their children’s favorite memories include episodes of family game nights by fire- or candlelight during power outages. You can create your own “power outage” by participating in Screen-Free Week. And, even if you don’t go completely screen-free, you might want to pledge an hour or so a day or night to have some good screen-free fun. Who knows? That fun might just become a habit or your own favorite family memory.

Here are 12 ways to celebrate Screen Free Week:

Make a Paper Boat and sail it in a creek, pond or bathtub.

Make a Bird Feeder. Our local birds have gone nuts for ours and we plan to make more.

Make easy Wreaths, Crowns and Baskets to celebrate May Day and spring.

Enjoy Loom and Finger Weaving. You can do this anywhere!

Keep a Moon Diary as a way of observing the night sky.

Slow your pace and have a Cloud Race.

Get a jump on summer by making S’Mores. Camp under the stars if it’s warm enough.

Start a Backyard Garden.

Bake your own Soft Pretzels. These are really easy and fun.

Play a different fun board game every night. We like Boggle, Sorry, Taboo, Pictionary, Scrabble, Mancala, Masterpiece, Monopoly and Hi-Ho Cherry O.

Discover The Joy of Quiet.

And, if you’re really missing your screen? Make your own Shoebox TV!

You’ll need:

Shoebox or a square-shaped box and lid
Cardboard tubes, from paper towels, foil or plastic wrap, or wooden dowels
4-10 pieces of printer paper (8 ½ x 11”)
Drawing materials
Scissors, craft knife and tape

Cut a large opening for the TV screen into the bottom of the box, leaving an even border of 1” or more all around.

Holding the box horizontally, cut two holes on the top, each about 2” the side and 2” back from the cut-out section. Your dowels or cardboard tubes should fit into the holes.

Cut two bottom holes that line up with the top ones.

Cut the cardboard tubes, if necessary, so that about ½ “ sticks out on the bottom and 1-2” on top.

Decide on a story you want to tell that primarily uses pictures.

Place the paper horizontally (cutting, if necessary, to fit the tube length) and draw one picture on each page, adding words, if desired. Leave at least 1” on each paper edge and at least 2” on the left edge of the first picture and the right edge of the last picture.

Lay the pictures out, left to right, in the order they will appear. Turn them over and, keeping the order, run a piece of tape down each back seam where two pictures come together.

Tape each end of the paper story scroll around a tube or dowel and roll on the back sides of the scroll, so that the paper image is at the front of the tubes and the paper is tight and sized to the box.

Place the tubes into the holes and place the lid on the back. Decorate the front of the TV, if desired.

Gently turn the tubes to make the pictures move.

Slow Tip: You can also use images from magazines or comic-books to create your story.

You can make multiple story scrolls and change them through the back of the box. In doing so, you’ll join nearly every ancient civilization in telling stories using scrolls, starting with the Egyptians, who created them on papyrus.

The Shoebox TV craft is adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, which contains 300+ more ways to enjoy screen-free family fun.

You might enjoy these related posts from Slow Family Online:

Eight Fun Things to Do While It’s Still Summer

Six Fun Family Activities to Enjoy This Weekend

Hooray for Low-Tech Toys

Graphic: Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood, Photos: Susan Sachs Lipman

Back to School: 9 Tips for Taming Fall Frenzy

The flood of school-related papers seems to come earlier each year – the “first day” packets, the emergency and permission forms, the sports and other schedules. The start of school seems earlier, too — it’s up to mid-August in my neck of the woods.

A peruse around the internet shows that I’m not alone in feeling dismay at the loss of the long and leisurely summer. Parents in Chicago and Newburyport, MA, successfully lobbied their school districts to start school after Labor Day.  Legislators in many states hotly debate back-to-school dates each year.

Hopefully, you were fortunate to have had some leisurely family time this summer. Or, at the very least, some time free from homework, schedules, transportation, meetings, appointments, a busy calendar and a frazzled household. No matter when Back-to-School hits for you, it can be a challenge to keep the pace and spirit of summer in your family. Here are a couple of ideas for taming Fall frenzy.

Create Unstructured Family Time

Consider turning down the occasional invitation or activity to ensure that your family has some time by itself. Then devote to that time by not answering the phone and emails, and putting away the electronics and the to-do list. Families need to regroup and simply have unstructured time together – to play, to talk, to inadvertently create the small instances that go into the family memory bank. It is the little things that tend to bond families, and these often occur during unstructured time. This can be time to explore a craft or make music, just for the fun of it – in contrast to being in “achievement mode”. It can be a time to have a family game night or be outside in nature, to tell stories that meander as you do, or to merely observe the world. In earlier cultures, it was more common for people to take a break from the everyday. Today, in our 24/7 world, we sometimes have to create that time for ourselves and our families, in order to refresh, as well as re-engage with one another. If need be, schedule a family night on the calendar.

Eat As Many Meals As Possible Together

You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating. Mealtimes are often the only times families have together. It can be incredibly grounding to just sit down all together at the end of the day and share triumphs and thoughts. It can take some planning to find the time between activities and work for everyone to come together, as well as the time to plan and prepare meals. If you enjoy cooking, doing so as a family can provide fun bonding time. If not, aim to keep weeknight meals simple and buy what you need for a few meals at once, to keep cooking and shopping times down, as well as costs. You can also make double batches of food, and then have the leftovers the next night. Or pick up take-out food on your way back into the house. While home-cooked meals are great, the time spent together is even more vital.

Spend Time in Nature Together

Nature’s schedule is so much broader than our busy one, that one can’t help but gain a little perspective simply by being outside. And, chances are that when you’re outside as a family, you’re getting some fresh air, physical beauty and exercise, which enliven the spirit as well as help create healthy habits for everyone. For some children, nature is where they feel happiest, and there are plenty of ways to enhance their experience of nature, whether through creating poetry or art out of what is observed, collecting items to display at home, playing games like Tag and Hide ‘n Seek, building forts, watching the stars, or telling stories and playing word games together while on walks. Other families might enjoy biking, rollerblading or water sports as a way to be active together and do something a bit special. Chances are, even if you live in a city, there’s a bit of nature nearby. Looking for ideas? Check out the Children & Nature Network.

Cultivate Friendships With All Different People

Have people in your life who are different ages than you, or whom you don’t know through your child. Sometimes what gets lost as a parent is a sense of who we are as people, and others – with whom me might share non-parenting interests – can help us reconnect with that part of ourselves and with a broader range of interests and ideas than may be prevalent in the immediate circle of school. People who don’t have school-age children may be less harried themselves, so that you can’t help but slow down in their presence. Perhaps there is a neighbor or friend with whom your family would enjoy taking a walk or doing a craft. Especially if there are no grandparents nearby, a relationship with someone older can be a wonderful, life-enlarging experience for a child. Many senior facilities welcome young visitors with a parent. Performing a service, such as visiting a shut-in, is an excellent way to slow down, gain perspective and make a friend.

Say “No” to More Things

We parents don’t have to volunteer to take on more at work, or to serve on every school committee that needs us. Periodically assess your needs and your output and, if something is out of balance, readjust. Likewise, children don’t have to sign up for a lot of activities. Often, children are over-scheduled to the point of creating stress for the whole family. Perhaps explore one or two activities at a time, and carefully consider costs and benefits before adding any new ones. It may help to assure yourself that it is usually not the last opportunity for your child to enjoy ballet or soccer. More pleasure may come from devotion to one thing at a time.

Evaluate Your Own Desires

Are you signing your child up for activities you would have liked for yourself? While exposure to many things is delightful and, indeed, a luxury, too much of a good thing can backfire. Try to be clear about whether your own needs or anxieties about your child’s achievement are fueling a desire to over-schedule activities. Often what children want, when asked, is simply more unstructured time with their siblings, friends or parents.

Make Time for Yourself and Your Spouse

This is often the first thing that gets bumped off the list of priorities. Adults who are burned out have no resources left for their children. Perhaps, having cleared more time for family time, some self and couple time can emerge as well. If need be, schedule time to spend alone, as a couple, or with friends from other parts of your life, even if you can only do so once a month. Consider doing more family activities that, while age-appropriate, are not necessarily child-focused. Sometimes children come along on our activities more readily than we expect them to, and the results can be rewarding for everyone.

Get Enough Sleep

Missing out on sleep puts everyone in a bad mood, which can add to daily stress. Try to have a regular bedtime for children and for yourself. If work remains to be done into the night, tell yourself it can wait until tomorrow. If there’s time, a nice routine before bed, such as reading out loud (to children of any age) can be calming and put a nice cap on the day, which helps everyone get to sleep better.

Let Children be Children

Sometimes, in our rush toward achievement, we forget what it is like to be a child. Childhood still lasts about 18 years, which leaves plenty of time for  structured activities. Some unstructured time for children (to be alone, as well as with the family) is desirable. Don’t be afraid to let your child have down time, to daydream or explore on his or her own. To even — be bored. Every activity doesn’t have to lead to a future goal. And every moment doesn’t have to provide outside entertainment. In fact, our tendency to over-schedule and over-stimulate children can create undue stress for them, as well as the inability to simply entertain themselves, play freely, tolerate stillness, or discover their own inner compasses — who they are and what they like to do.

Photos by Susan Sachs Lipman

These tips were adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, which contains 300+ fun family activities and slowing techniques. This post also appeared in Frugal Mama.

Fed Up with Frenzy Book Celebrates One Year!

Speaking at the elementary school my daughter attended

 

What a year for Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, my book that grew out of this blog in an attempt to share some of the techniques I used with my family to slow our increasingly busy and out-of-balanced lives, as well as outline 300+ affordable and delightful games, crafts and activities that I enjoyed with my family, friends and Girl Scout troop to help us slow down, reconnect and spend more joyful and distraction-free time together.

I relished recounting the playground and jump-rope games I learned from my own mom; the paper boats my family made and sailed down a local creek; the awe we experienced observing natural phenomena, like tidepools and meteor showers; and the simple fun we had making batches of bubble solution or picking berries to make jam and fruit desserts. It is my firm belief that you don’t have to spend a lot of money or prep time to enjoy activities with children that will create lifelong memories and perhaps result in a new skill, or one that was forgotten as we entered an increasingly busy and technologically oriented adulthood.

 

 

Slow Down.

Reconnect.

It’s Easier than You Think.

 

 

 

 

It turned out that a lot of people, in the media and in everyday life, related to the message.

TIME Healthland named Fed Up with Frenzy and Slow Parenting a 2012 Top 10 Parenting Trend. The book was reviewed in the Washington Post.

I got to fly to New York to talk about Slow Parenting on national TV, on Fox & Friends Weekend. You can watch the interview here.

I was interviewed by Randi Zuckerberg at Dot Complicated.

I got to speak about Slow Parenting at my childhood hometown bookstore and my current local bookstore and have dear friends and family enliven the discussions that ensued. I shared Fed Up with Frenzy in libraries, community rooms and school auditoriums. Most recently, I shared tips for enjoying a slow family summer in nature with guests at the Bay Area Discovery Museum, a place where my younger family had enjoyed many discoveries of our own. Hear the talk and watch the slide show. Read about other Fed Up with Frenzy talks.

Attempting to look serious with CA Writers Club members

I also had a lot of generous people write very nice things about my book in the press and on my Fed Up with Frenzy blog tour, including Vicki Larson in my local paper, the Marin Independent Journal, which featured my daughter and me, and Jessica Hahn-Taylor of SF Hill Babies, who ran an extremely beautiful and thoughtful piece just last weekend.

Anna and me photographed making soap

From the moment the carton of books arrived in our house, the year of “Frenzy” has indeed been a busy, albeit very exciting, one. I’m thrilled to have met so many wonderful people and gained new insights from the parents of today’s young children, whose lives are even busier, more distracted and more technological than mine was in those years (and who are very grateful to hear that making dried-bean mosaics constitutes a fine Saturday morning and to offer the epiphany, as one mom at a preschool talk did, that brushing teeth is easier and more enjoyable if viewed as an activity, rather than a chore.)

Thank you so much for coming along on this Slow journey with me. I look forward to seeing what Year 2 brings!

 

 

12 Fun Family Activities for Screen Free Week

When I speak to families about slowing down and enjoying family time, one of the things that comes up over and over is screen time. Screens dominate many of our lives, often to a greater degree than we wish. While many of us parents can attest to the addictive nature of technology, we struggle with ways to reduce it in our children’s lives.

It is perhaps a bonus, then, that the wonderful Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has proclaimed April 29 – May 5 to be Screen-Free Week. Sometimes this kind of added incentive is all we need to inspire us to action. More than once, parents have told me that their children’s favorite memories include episodes of family game nights by fire- or candlelight during power outages. You can create your own “power outage” by participating in Screen-Free Week. And, even if you don’t go completely screen-free, you might want to pledge an hour or so a day or night to have some good screen-free fun. Who knows? That fun might just become a habit or your own favorite family memory.

Here are 12 ways to celebrate Screen Free Week:

Make a Paper Boat and sail it in a creek, pond or bathtub.

Make a Bird Feeder. Our local birds have gone nuts for ours and we plan to make more.

Make easy Wreaths, Crowns and Baskets to celebrate May Day.

Enjoy Loom and Finger Weaving. You can do this anywhere!

Keep a Moon Diary as a way of observing the night sky.

Slow your pace and have a Cloud Race.

Get a jump on summer by making S’Mores. Camp under the stars if it’s warm enough.

Start a Backyard Garden.

Bake your own Soft Pretzels. These are really easy and fun.

Play a different fun board game every night. We like Boggle, Sorry, Taboo, Pictionary, Scrabble, Mancala, Masterpiece, Monopoly and Hi-Ho Cherry O.

Discover The Joy of Quiet.

And, if you’re really missing your screen? Make your own Shoebox TV!

You’ll need:

Shoebox or a square-shaped box and lid
Cardboard tubes, from paper towels, foil or plastic wrap, or wooden dowels
4-10 pieces of printer paper (8 ½ x 11”)
Drawing materials
Scissors, craft knife and tape

Cut a large opening for the TV screen into the bottom of the box, leaving an even border of 1” or more all around.

Holding the box horizontally, cut two holes on the top, each about 2” the side and 2” back from the cut-out section. Your dowels or cardboard tubes should fit into the holes.

Cut two bottom holes that line up with the top ones.

Cut the cardboard tubes, if necessary, so that about ½ “ sticks out on the bottom and 1-2” on top.

Decide on a story you want to tell that primarily uses pictures.

Place the paper horizontally (cutting, if necessary, to fit the tube length) and draw one picture on each page, adding words, if desired. Leave at least 1” on each paper edge and at least 2” on the left edge of the first picture and the right edge of the last picture.

Lay the pictures out, left to right, in the order they will appear. Turn them over and, keeping the order, run a piece of tape down each back seam where two pictures come together.

Tape each end of the paper story scroll around a tube or dowel and roll  on the back sides of the scroll, so that the paper image is at the front of the tubes and the paper is tight and sized to the box.

Place the tubes into the holes and place the lid on the back. Decorate the front of the TV, if desired.

Gently turn the tubes to make the pictures move.

Slow Tip: You can also use images from magazines or comic-books to create your story.

You can make multiple story scrolls and change them through the back of the box. In doing so, you’ll join nearly every ancient civilization in telling stories using scrolls, starting with the Egyptians, who created them on papyrus.

The Shoebox TV craft is adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, which contains 300+ more ways to enjoy screen-free family fun.

 Related posts from Slow Family Online:

Eight Fun Things to Do While It’s Still Summer

Six Fun Family Activities to Enjoy This Weekend

Hooray for Low-Tech Toys

Graphic: Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood, Photos: Susan Sachs Lipman

Beyond Differences: Pledge Now to End Bullying and Social Isolation

Bullying is defined as aggressive or unwanted behavior. Most school-aged children find themselves on one end of a bullying relationship at some point in their lives. Bullying can take many forms. Abuse can be physical or verbal. It can take place in person or online. It often takes the form of social isolation.

Beyond Differences is a teen-led grassroots organization that was formed in Marin County, CA, specifically to combat social isolation, which is often a precursor to more aggressive bullying behaviors. The group leads powerful peer assemblies in middle and high schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing the very impactful work that the Beyond Differences leadership accomplishes. Social acceptance can make the difference between a pleasant school experience and a torturous one. Here’s one message on the Beyond Differences site from parent Sheri Mowbray:

Their message of inclusion and care helped bring my daughter out of a serious depression and allowed her not only to feel less socially isolated, but empowered her to want to take a leadership role to help others in the same circumstances.

A cornerstone of Beyond Differences’ work is the No One Eats Alone program, which encourages students to include others who might be experiencing social isolation. The educational and psychological benefits of the program go far beyond the week in which it typically occurs. Schools report more compassion and inclusiveness among students year-round. Using tool kits on the Beyond Differences web site, the program can be replicated anywhere in the world.

Here are tips for parents with adolescents who suffer from social isolation from Amy Wilner, PsyD.

You can take a stand against bullying by learning more about Beyond Differences and similar groups. Please join me in taking this pledge from Take Part to add your name to the growing list of people who pledge to end bullying and social isolation.

This post is sponsored by Take Part. The opinions expressed are my own.

 

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